Submit – who me?

by Jan Cox

Heron between the lakes








We were talking in our women’s Bible study the other day about submission to our husbands. We studied 1 Peter and there it was in black and white – right out of the Bible:

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ” (1 Peter 3:1-2).

This brought about much discussion. Some women thought it was for the “olden days” only; others thought that pastors should preach more on the following Scripture:

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).

Then I spoke up and related the story of my learning to “submit” to my husband. I am NOT good at it and it is a work in progress.

Before coming to Christ I domineered much of our married life – I wanted my way all the time; I whined when I didn’t get my way; I slammed doors and generally was a pain. When I first became a Christian I joined a Bible study and we  started working on this topic – about 12 years ago – I did NOT like this at all.

I bought a book called “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. I thought, “Great – here will be the prayers so I can change my husband to understanding me.”

It didn’t work out that way. The book taught me to see myself – really see myself. As I worked through the prayers I started to change. Stormie says her favourite three-word prayer was “Change him, Lord”. Then she says her prayer became, “Change me Lord.”

So anyone who thinks that their husband/wife needs changing had better start to look more closely at themselves. And for the men readers, there is another book called The Power of a Praying Husband, too.

What I can tell you is that this revelation made quite a difference in our marriage. I am not perfect – I make lots of mistakes but I can see myself as the culprit sometimes and ask forgiveness.

Have you asked God to change your attitude? Can you and your husband find the mutual respect that Peter is talking about in this book? It is in humbling ourselves that we can find forgiveness, love and caring in a marriage. You can read the first chapter of Stormie’s book and see for yourself – do you need a changeover? And for the men here is the first chapter of The Power of a Praying Husband.

It is not wrong to pray for someone to change – just check out your motives first. Make sure your request is authentic and not a way to get something from that person. Be real and true with God.


Help us in our marriages, Lord, to see the other person. Help us to act respectfully at all times and to treasure our spouses. Help us to love as Jesus loved. In His name. AMEN.

My Gratitude List – On to the second thousand – I am at 1065

  • Zumba for free at our church
  • A Hot Epsom salts bath after Zumba
  • Seeing the movie Freedom Writers
  • My favourite heron sitting between the lakes
  • Great dinner dance with friends
  • Slow dances with my hubby
  • Dealing with the loss of a friend
  • Great sermon on courage
  • Watching a friend play in her first tennis final
  • Hubby is keeping his cold to himself
  • A tall erect white egret
  • A quiet evening to paint by myself
  • I can play a grade 5 piece called Rhumba on my keyboard
  • Tap dance – good practice to focus
  • Learning insurance pitfalls in Financial Peace
  • My French conversation lesson in the steam room
  • Snowball’s friend, Corbie, came to visit
  • Walk around the lake with new friends
  • A warm evening – only wore a light sweater
  • An “Old Hams” performance – well done

Jan Cox

Jan, a former school teacher and small business owner, found a new passion in writing in her retirement. She has published two devotionals and a number of articles for magazines and a Bible study. She is owner of Under the Cover of Prayer and moderates the site. She also writes at A Better Way. Jan is working on a couple children’s books in which she is also the watercolour illustrator.