What Lay Hidden that God knew But I didn’t?
Today is Five-Minute Friday and the word prompt is excuse. Just write. Little editing. Join us at Five Minute Friday. Set the timer: GO
I didn’t want to admit it. We were discussing our attitudes to our family in a Bible study. We were asked to think deeply over past conversations. How did we act and react? I didn’t want to go there. I could hear my voice – my controlling voice.
It’s not nice to look back at what you said, is it? I used to be very controlling to my husband and family. It started with trauma but ended with a fear and a need to make sure everyone was safe. It had started before I really knew Jesus.
I had this urge to be watchful and careful of everyone. I didn’t trust anyone except my family.
For that reason I wanted to ensure their safety (as though I could??)
And if my way wasn’t followed then I would be very upset. I wanted everything done my way. No room for anyone else’s opinion..
So in this Bible study I made an excuse. I didn’t know. Or I lied. I am not sure.
I said that there was nothing that was wrong in my attitude with my family. Nothing. Nothing at all.
I went home. I thought and thought. I decided I had better ask Jesus if there was something that I was doing that He did not like. I prayed. I listened. God answered.
Yes there is something that you are doing. You are not trusting me. You are running afraid so you think you need to control everything.
Oh my. Convicted. Jesus was right. I saw my sin. I had also made an excuse. My sin had been hidden but now it was revealed.
Do you have hidden faults? Are you making an excuse? Do you need to talk to God about them?
I found more hidden faults as I continued in that Bible study and in the years since. And now I continue to ask God to reveal anything that is not of Him.
I don’t want to make excuses to God. I want to be righteous before HIm.
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“Yes there is something that you are doing. You are not trusting me. You are running afraid so you think you need to control everything.”
– I really like that – like worry, control is a sign of not letting go and trusting God so I KNOW I have some ways to go there. Sometimes I can be utter faith even when things aren’t going my way adn it;s super stressful, as it is currently actually, but other times, everything can seem fine and I worry for the other shoe to drop. As we’ve all heard, so many worship God when things are going great but when teh rubber meets the road, they lose heart. Mine is totally the opposite xp–when things are great, I worry that it can;t — life always throws curve balls, but when it goes hard and scary, tehn I throw myself to my knees and worship God as good as I know He is and it’s only in that acknowledgement that I can make it through at times.
I understand that. Worry is something that we all have inside us. But we can turn worry into prayer requests. And yes I take one day at a time. Worry steals life.
God does have everything under His control. He is leading us – on different paths but in the same direction towards Him. I can hear your faith. I yes I fall on my knees too – at various times.
Trust is something we build. And once again I have to go back to His Word to remember not to fear (400 times).
thank you for honesty! it’s funny how God grows us through our humility. and then uses that to help others grow.
I hope this post will make others think- it was amazing to see myself as others and God saw me. I couldn’t do that before.
Janis, WOW! What an openhearted and transparent post. What courage!
I’m not sure I have many hidden faults; mine are pretty obvious, partly due to my genuine lack of intellectual depth. I’ve been called “dumber than a box of rocks”.
It’s not something I can resent, because I see the truth of the statement.
#1 at FMF this week.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting on Growing Through God’s Word. I really didn’t see those faults until convicted by Jesus. So if you want to find any just ask Him.