Tag Archives: Dulce de Leche

IN THE ROAR OF YOUR WATERFALLS

In the Roar of Your Waterfalls

We have a guest poster today. Welcome Dulce. This is a powerful story of how turning to God can give us peace even in the midst of stormy weather.

by Dulce de Leche (reprinted with permission)

Nung Nung Waterfall

“Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.” ~ Psalm 42:7-8

I didn’t expect this.  Not any of it.  For one thing, I never really expected my blog to last more than a couple of months, or for writing to matter at all to me.  But in pouring out my heart here, I began to feel connected with you.  And that matters.  You matter.

I have had some exciting news this weekend about joining the Natural Parents Networkand a couple of articles that were favorably received by Home Educating Family Magazine.  I am elated!  But when I shared it with a family member, I just got rolled eyes.  I let them know that I was hurt by the response, and was answered in no uncertain terms that in their opinion, my writing is just a waste of time.  There were some personal jabs added about my lack of housekeeping skills, parenting and homeschooling.

You ever have times when hurt, anger, and loneliness just crash over your heart like waves?  And just when you think you are starting to catch your breath, they just knock you under all over again?  Yeah, that.  My emotions are pounding in my ears like a roaring waterfall.

Right now, two of the people closest to me in real life have let me know that they disapprove of my writing.  One because I am “speaking against the Lord’s anointed” by writing against the teachings of people like Dobson, Gothard, the Pearls, etc.  Another because I don’t have anything worth the time to say it. The result is that I now have a deep part of my heart that I no longer feel safe in sharing with them.

Tonight, as my heart pounded a waterfall of tears, I remembered the first part of the verse.

Deep calls to deep because all of us long for intimacy. Vulnerability that reveals the depths of our souls. It is a dangerous thing. Those deep places are only protected by distance from the surface. Our only safety is in love that is even more profound. In God.

We are meant to have intimacy with other people.  But there is a place that is only meant for God. My self worth is found there, in who He is and who He created me to be. The stuff that fills me up inside comes from Him, not the approval of those around me. It has to, or I will always be tossed by every little wave of disapproval.

I believe that is the key, but I am still trying to figure out what it looks like to continue calling out to the depths in those closest to us.  Where, exactly, is the difference between forgiveness and grace-full boundaries?  These relationships are meant to be profound ones, and I don’t want to close off my heart, but I don’t want to open it up to be ground down into the mud again.  I need help, because right now my thoughts and feelings keep splashing all over the place.

I do know that He sent swelling tides of healing and love through you, my dear friends.  So many of you took the time to encourage me, to comment on my Facebook status and to send hugs and prayers.  As I read your words, my spirit was bouyed up and my heart began to sing again.  Thank you.

Those waterfalls can be deafening.  That is why we have to sing His song even louder.  I am so grateful to you all for relentlessly singing the song of love and grace, of healing and hope over me.

IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES

We have a new guest today. Dulce has written a beautiful prayer picture using imagery from Psalm 23.

In the Presence of My Enemies

by  Dulce de Leche (Reprinted with permission)

So far, the best solution I have found for pregnancy insomnia is to meditate on Scripture and pray. After all, it put even the disciples to sleep, right? Last night, after waking up for the fourth or fifth time, I was mentally reciting Psalm 23 when I got to the verse that says, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies…”. It reminded me of a time when God used that verse to really encourage me.

I had this picture of a war scene—heat, ear-shattering explosions, the stench of smoke and decay, bullets flying everywhere and soldiers so bone-achingly weary that terror had been dulled and replaced by a glazed, grim determination to keep going till it was somehow over.

Photo by OiMax on Flickr

In the middle of this battle, God suddenly appears and starts setting this elegant table. There is an immaculate white tablecloth, beautiful china, sparkling crystal and shining silverware. Mouth-watering, luscious foods are displayed (many of them featuring chocolate). And with the bullets whizzing past my head, God smilingly invites me to sit down.

The incongruity makes it all seem so ridiculous. I feel bewildered and almost angry. “Um, Lord? This is great, but we’re in the middle of a war here. I don’t have time for this. After it’s over, we’ll celebrate the victory, but I’m fighting right now.” He replies simply, “But you need this now.”

Photo by Aidan.Morgan on Flickr

I’m anointed with fragrant oil that drives away the stink of war and soothes and heals the dry, chapped places on my skin. Instead of a mere cup that is over-flowing, for some reason I picture an elaborate fountain full of cool water. And suddenly over the booming noise of battle, I hear myself giggling and splashing in the fountain just like my children would. All the grime and muck is rinsed away, and God and I are playing and laughing together.

The funny thing is, throughout all this, my enemies have never stopped. The battle is still raging around me, but the enemy is just wasting ammo.

I know that some of you are in a long-term fight, and that it can be over-whelming. Please know that I am praying for you, that you will be able to lie down in green meadows, rest beside still waters and have your souls restored, that you can be nourished and refreshed even in the presence of your enemies.

Photo by .Bala on Flickr